march 11, 2009

He told me family is the most important thing and that we have to stay together if we want to be happy. I knew what he meant and I agreed that our relationship is something that i'd like to hold on to and cherish. A father is armor, swords, and shields. Afather is protection, discipline, and love. I am grown now, I must be a man on my own. I am forced to move on, he's hundreds of miles away. I remember shopping for clothes, rocking to the sounds that sprung out from his car stereo. Eating dinners together until our stomaches broke the buttons on our shirts. I remember a father embracing a son with love, discipline, and protection. Now I hear my baby sister crying on the other end of the phone. Someday, when she is capable of understanding words, i'll say to her that family is the most important thing and that we have to stay together if we want to be happy, and i'll watch her grow right before my eyes.

Through the Woods

I'm walking throught the woods on my way home. I guess murderers and rapists don't kill or rape enough these days to keep people away from places like this. My body keeps the persperation to a minimum seeing as mosquitos love my blood. I pick up a broken tree branch and use it to hike up some rocks so I can take a better look at nature. From there I can see the kids from my creative writing class all on their own little paths. Wonder what they're doing? As I start to walk down the rocks, tree branch firm in my hands, I feel a drip on my shirt. I didn't bother to take a look, i'll wash it out later. The walk starts to get to my head. How long will in these woods? Nature's cool and all but damn, i'm hungry.

* Exquisite Corps 1* (collaboration with other classmates)

Eversince jackass i've always wondered what it would be like to staple your ass. What if I sewed it?

Yeah, that would probably involve a nasty infection of some sort.

How would you be able to shit?

Would the thread divide the turds in half?

Ha, now there's no crack in your ass I suppose.

It hurts like shit. I swear I will fuck that kid up.

Word.

Fill My Stomache, Cover My Head

So, check this out right, I'm looking for money one night going through peoples garbage. Maybe I can find enough shit to recycle, make a few bucks. I pull out a fresh ass lamp shade. It's tight so I thow it on my head. So I'm looking fly and feeling cocky. I see my homeboy chilling eating an apple in his box. I preach to him about the lamp shade, how one day it'll be too hot and he'll wish he had a lamp shade to cover his head. My confidence is so convincing that I cheat the dumbass into giving me his apple as a trade off. My stomache felt good that night. The next day I wake up, it's hot as hell outside, my bald head is screaming from the heat and I say to myself, I could really use a lampshade.

Dream Wave

I dream of people.

Ancestors crying and screaming.

My street fam all behind me riding quads and dirtbikes.

A little girl standing on mace towers inside a large clock. The cogs are spiked ball and chains swinging closer to the girl. Every swing makes my lungs tighter.

I dream of love, randomly.

Past girlfriends who haunt my dreams.

Figures who embody everything I look for in a girl.

Eyes coming together with eyes.

My soul being crushed from the love I lack, and seek.

Success, money, charity, less fortunate.

Making a difference.

My brother hanging out with me like we never did growing up.

My younger brother sticking with me through tough times, distant, like a shadow, but there.

I dream my family are samurais holding the forefront. Mythical powers exerting from our weapons.

I dream of robbing banks. I dream assasins, doing the job and literally flying off, running across the bank walls while being pursued by a hail of bulets.

I dream weird people saying weird things.

Smart people not making any sense.

I dream in english.

Most of the time in gibberish.

* WTF, IDK*

So I fucking hate big shit in the water, whales, sharks, alligators, and octopusses. They move so freely in the enormous belly of the ocean and God only knows what else is down there in the deep cracks of Earth's hidden arteries. I have the same fear about life. Sometimes I don't want to step outside because violence and phsycos roam the free alleyways of man built grime. But what the fuck ami going to stay inside for? I'm just isolating myself on a big bullseye saying "HERE I AM!" So fuck the water, or fuck the land for that matter. I'd rather take the chance and die of innate survival instincts. But fuck that too. I'll just swim in my pool, and ironically enough, float on my fucking inflatable whale.

**

Exquisite Corps 2** (collaboration with other classmates)

Shouldn't the treeman just live like a bear in the woods? He wipes his ass on a tree anyways.

Just not as soft as charmin.

Those damn bears are so adorable! As much as you want to hate their corny asses.

Ehhh.

I still could hate them, but i've never seen them so I don't hate them.

...with their perfect round, primary-colored rumps.

Fart.

Queef.

Yum Yum.

I hate this shit! So shut up already.

* April 22, 2009*

Trying to keep my eyes open this early morning. My head is pounding, screaming "VODKA!!!" The tie around my neck doesn't soothe the pressure any more so than the heat surrounding my body and clothes. The heat feels like it's coming from a lava pit in my stomache groaning with anger and uncomfort. I want to spew it out but I must hold in the boiling, gurgling orange juice which didn't want to die off last night. UUGHHH!!! I can't wait until this is over for the day, or atleast lunch time.

* Sitting, Writing*

A blonde woman walks by wearing big sunglasses and her hair tied up in a bun. Her turqoise bag doesn't match her brown boots, but i'm no fashion expert. She looks just as calm as the janitor taking out the trash from the cafe or the three high school students smoking an L, laughing at a lady wearing an orange and pink sweater asking a lesbian for some weed. Ah, Providence. Thoguh the smell of bums and piss overpower the the smell of weed in some of the dowtown allies, I love the concrete slabbed ontop of historic roads and the old buildings with graffitti on them. I will never leave you.

* Oh Isla Del Encanto, Where Have You Gone*

Hot dry summer breeze brushing my tanned skin. The smell of clean ocean waters reach my nostrils and I feel my hairs rising as I close my eyes. I can hear the cars driving by and my people speaking in Puerto Rican slang by the bakery.

"bamo par playa."

"bamo a comprar cebesa."

It's peaceful and beautiful with your eyes closed or if they're trained on the right things like el Morro, the beaches, Old San Juan, and the food. But this isn't a tourist town. It's main street, San Juan. It's littered with gas stations and McDonalds and every store, including the KFC's and Burger King's, serve alchohol. Vacation in Puerto Rico is great when you're 19 and you're able to buy a beer and sit under coconut palm trees as the golden sand somehow finds a way to nestle itself in your crack, even when you have pants on. Good thing the tourists stay out of this part of town, they'd never want to come back. I wish I had never left.

Mixed Memories from the Jerry Springer Show

A gay midget leaves his stripper girlfriend for a fat guy who likes to fuck food because the midget's best friend, who he's been fucking, is fucking his girl, who so happens to be a blow up doll.

High School Made Me Dream

I looked like a jack-o-lantern bouncing throught the doors of Hope high school. That name alone lit up the candle chained to my core. It soon turned into hoping I get out of the damned place where pumpkins were smashed and sweet intoxication filled the breadthes of ghoulish morons. I hoped for a bigger brighter light, and that light was harnested in an apple without a carved face. Yet carved on the inside was glamour, music, art, yellow twinkie cabs filled with possibilities and endless journeys. Nature, science, and late nights under manmade stars eating brick oven, italian tomato sauce pies while a soprano belches out "That's amore" with sausage.

Many Years Later

In the beginning, there was Dunkin' Donuts and Eamon's writing class. There was the Rhode Island Public Transit Authority and bum juice on every downtown alley. There was small buildings surrounded by pidgeons and old brick roads stepped on by Chuck Taylor. There was a beautiful place called the Providence Place Mall that had it's appeal taken away by gondolas floating in sewage water swimming laps around ancient outdoor fireplaces. I remember when AS220 was full of the struggling artist and when Dominoes was just a game drunk spanish people played when they had family gatherings. I remember graffitti before it was cashed in and when Dickies were the uniforms of mechanics and gangbangers. Yes, Those were the days son. Now go fly your car.